So many things!!

I have been so busy with school, I can't believe a month has gone by from when I had last posted. Things at the center have also been busy too. On February 4-6th Acharya Moh Hardin taught "The Way of Shambhala: Wisdom for Everyday life".

This training is... like level six I believe. Normally you aren't allowed to take it until you've taken the levels under it because it covers things that are covered in the previous five levels. But since its the Acharya under the Sakyong, and things seems to be done differently at the center here, it was... allowed? It was a confusing and yet fun weekend, even if I was missing the annual Asian New Year Festival held only a mile away. It just happened to be scheduled by accident that way. The Chinese New Year is the basis of the festival but all Asian/Pacific cultures that can be present also participate. Frankly it needs to be expanded or moved soon, its become so popular and so many thousands of people go annually.

Anyways, the "Wisdom of Everyday life" was exploring the meaning of ego, egolessness, the four dignities, and a new meditation practice. I will admit I have been bad and have not once practiced it since the weekend, I've been hitting the ground running so much with school, work, and life being exceeding hectic this past month. The four dignities are the "meek" tiger, "perky" lion, "outrageous" garuda, and the "inscrutable" dragon. Meek? Why would anyone want to be meek? Well, lets just say the normal definitions do not apply to these words and wrapping your brain around the basis understanding from the Eastern thought was heavy part of the talks and discussions. We spent many hours on each one needless to say.

So that was the weekend, but things didn't slow after that. Monday there were 'interviews' schedule and I grab the second to last slot left at 8pm. I had questions, that were personal to me that I wanted uninterrupted time. Because if I asked it during the weekend it would have been during an open discussion. My questions were my how I feel lost and yet found; I feel a deep connection to the core teaching of Shambhala and especially the practice of Kyudo, as if I am a lost child that was in a room of gray trying to find the white light. I can only so 'so far' here in my city with Kyudo, I have very little chance to practice it as it is. There were also questions I had in trying to figure out answers to the Sakyong's letter, which they helped me clarify but I will admit I have been so consumed with work and school that I didn't get to replying. Whoops.

The Tuesday after the weekend was the Refuge Vow Ceremony. I was excited and nervous, I had heard only vague information about it ans was eager to watch and learn more. My nervousness went up ten fold when I walked through the door, everyone was dressed up and I was in my jeans straight from work. Ack!!! No one said anything, they were fine with how I was, but it was hard to be comfortable just out of reflex for a good while. There were... seven people I believe who were taking their refuge vows. The vows are a formal way declaring yourself to be following the teaching of the Buddha, not as a supreme being, but as the 'idol'. I really do enjoy listening to Acharya Hardin and Sangyum Grieve, they were very humorous, dignified, great to listen to. Part of the ceremony is being given a Buddhist name, based off an 'interview' with the Acharya and the Sangyum and what they felt best represented you. You do not get to choose it, you don't even known what it is until it is given to you. This does not replace your original name, though some it is said do eventually change it legally.

So the ceremony it self it very simple, and Acharya Hardin very good explaining each part of it so everyone who were clueless (like me, lol) could really understand what the vow and each moment really meant in meaning. I am not going to go into detail because I don't want to create confusion or misconceptions. There was also rice throwing as part of it, and I had to fight to not giggle like a silly girl because it was like a wedding. In a way it was, the Acharya said when I spoke to him later. I suppose so...

So since then I haven't really participated in the Sanga, as I have mentioned because of classes and work, other than making my way down there to sit a few times.There have been levels offered in the past month but I won't be able to attend a weekend level for some time. One of my co-workers lost her brother and we were short for a bit because of that. Another became severely ill, same week mind you. So I have had to go in early for work to help my boss get things situated to handle 110 children spread through a shorter staff.  For all the stress, especially with work being short staff and handling twenty or more kids everyday and falling behind but keeping my grades up in classes I am reasonably calm. I have had several trainings thrown at me last minute by my boss, which have forced me to miss classes, but I am handling the stress well. I know a year ago I wouldn't be as I am now. And I have a pretty good idea why.