Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Open House
Yesterday was a really interesting day at the center. Every first Tuesday is open house for people to come to learn about the center and receive sitting meditation instruction. What was so amazing is a woman practically came to San Antonio to visit our center from Argentina. She has read many of Chogyam Trunpa's books and studies the Shambhala teaching with her husband and a few friends in Argentina. I completely forgot to ask how she became so interested in Shambhala since she seems to have never been to one before and the nearest one to her home is in Chile. She was so excited I was floored. Thankfully Doria was the instructor last night and was able to speak to her in Spanish for any of her questions that she was having a problem asking in English. Her aunt lives here in San Antonio and when they were speaking over the phone and Shambhala was mentioned the aunt informed her there was a center here. So when she came to visit her aunt she was most interested in visiting our center as well. I wish I could have spoken to her more. I hope she is able to come to the center for the open sit on Sunday before her flight in the afternoon.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Ikebana
Monday, June 6, 2011
Unsual bus ride
Today summer semester started at my college and last year the bus service opened a new transit center not far from where I live. So now its possible for me to ride the bus and get to school in a timely manner. I didn't start riding the bus until now because I had a surgery just after it opened and then my classes conflicted and I had to go to work straight from school instead of riding the bus home and then going to work. But right now I'm unemployed, my regular job ended last week and won't start up again till mid August. I walk for about 15 minutes to a bus stop and hitch a ride on that line to the transit center and then switch to a bus that literally stops in front of my college.
On the ride back there were two guys with guitars talking, I couldn't hear what they were saying so even though I thought I heard Buddhist I didn't want to interrupt. Half way through the ride one started to play. I couldn't hear the words but it was very soft, his voice complimented the gentle music from his guitar. It was very surreal and I turned as much as I could in my seat to hear it. It struck me in a way that I felt like I was sitting in the shrine room at the Shambhala Center, all the while riding a very bumpy bus. It was a very strange but interesting moment.
On the ride back there were two guys with guitars talking, I couldn't hear what they were saying so even though I thought I heard Buddhist I didn't want to interrupt. Half way through the ride one started to play. I couldn't hear the words but it was very soft, his voice complimented the gentle music from his guitar. It was very surreal and I turned as much as I could in my seat to hear it. It struck me in a way that I felt like I was sitting in the shrine room at the Shambhala Center, all the while riding a very bumpy bus. It was a very strange but interesting moment.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Kyudo practice!
We finally had kyudo practice after three long months yesterday. Allen's health was good and the weather cooperated for a perfect morning. Even if we as a group have not been able to practice Doria and Allen have been busy renovating the Iba. I didn't have my camera with me but we now have 3 paths, one for the long shot, one for the retrieval of arrows from the long shot, and one of flat stone to the shooting platform.
I did about two sets of two or three shots into the practice hay before doing one long shot set. My arms didn't get tired or hurt as they had been when I first tried to push and pull the bow but I'm still doing something wrong because when I release the string I get a 'twang'. I'm still struggling with the kake (glove) and holding the tsuru (string). I'm apparently holding the yumi correctly, or at least the right spot in my hand, because I had to stop because it was starting to hurt, because it was red after each set of shots between my thumb and pointing finger.
It was good day, even if my shots weren't not the desired results. Besides the long shots my arrows failed to make it to even the sand pit, much less the target area....
I did about two sets of two or three shots into the practice hay before doing one long shot set. My arms didn't get tired or hurt as they had been when I first tried to push and pull the bow but I'm still doing something wrong because when I release the string I get a 'twang'. I'm still struggling with the kake (glove) and holding the tsuru (string). I'm apparently holding the yumi correctly, or at least the right spot in my hand, because I had to stop because it was starting to hurt, because it was red after each set of shots between my thumb and pointing finger.
It was good day, even if my shots weren't not the desired results. Besides the long shots my arrows failed to make it to even the sand pit, much less the target area....
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Stress, pressue, and relatives...
I wish I had happy things to write about, but sadly not so. The last few weeks have been a burrow of sad news. My literature teacher's father passed away. A friend in the sanga was in the hospital for almost a week because of his appendix and then his mother passed away the day after he got out of the hospital. School finals are in two weeks and I don't know how I'm going to get 4 papers done by next Friday and ready for my exams the following week. I have a test I haven't studied for tomorrow. I need to find a summer job soon. My car door that had to be replaced two years ago from an accident is acting up and won't lock or unlock without a lot of hassle, I had to actually crawl out of my car once already so it would stay locked when I left it. I am having problems with my relatives again. Oi.... I can't even relax while trying to sit and meditate.
The year of the rabbit is really not being a good year for me at all. :(
The year of the rabbit is really not being a good year for me at all. :(
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Fiesta Flower Show
This week is Fiesta in my home town of San Antonio. Ten 'official' days where the city goes crazy, not that is says so in the official stuff. Hehe. How does this have anything to do with Shambhala? Well I have a cousin who is part of the local Women's Club and every year (this being the 98th!) they do a flower show and arrangement contest as their official Fiesta event. My cousin asked me in February if I would enter because this year the theme was around the world and Japan was in the novice division. Normally only members of the Women's Club can enter but because I was a relative I was allowed to. I knew right away I wanted to do an Ikebana arrangement since my topic would be Japan. One of the meditation arts sometimes offered at a few Shambhala centers is Ikebana and that is where Shambhala comes in. I have not had a chance to take lessons in Ikebana but several of the people at the center have and my meditation sensei Doria Cross actually studied for years under an Ikebana sensei.
I originally planned "My Neighbor Totoro" by Hayao Miyazaki, who is like the Disney of Japan when it comes to anime minus parks and all that stuff, themed arrangement. But then the earthquake and tsunami disasters hit and I scrapped my original plan immediately. I had no spirit for it, the first week was hard for me to watch. I sometimes felt sick but I couldn't turn away from any incoming information or videos, I had to know.
With everything going on I completely forgot about the flower show. About 3 weeks before the flower show my cousin called and asked what I was planning to do and all I said was an Ikebana arrangement. I didn't have a plan. Then it hit me like an enlightened moment. Since the quake and tsunami I felt helpless, having no way to help but a small donation to the relief effort for what was happening in Japan. I wanted to do something, even if it was small. The Fiesta Flower Show was my something. I knew then I wanted to honor the victims and the nation of Japan as a whole.
After speaking to my meditation instructor she was thrilled about my idea and was happy to give me a lesson directed at my vision. It took a lot of time, right up to the day before the flower show, for our schedules to allow us to meet. She had already given me a heads up on what kind to flowers to buy and ferns. The lesson went smoothly at her house, it was like all the pieces were coming together. I learned the basics of Ikebana, the representation of heaven, man, and earth and the rules. And one rule that was not commonly known I was grateful to learn. Never the same colored flowers of the same type are used except when making an arrangement for the dead. I knew I also wanted one white flower in the arrangement because white was the color of mourning in Japan.
Doria was so wonderful to me. Gentle and guiding and not at all stern. I soaked up what she said like a sponge. She also gave me her own personal Ikebana supplies to borrow. I felt and still feel so honored. She told me that Ikebana was all about the vision and whatever you think you wanted you needed to let the flowers and the space speak to you. I was a little nervous on that part, I understood it because didn't quiet get it how I would 'hear' it spoken to me. I certainly learned who she meant the next morning when I did the arrangement two hours before the judging.
As I went through the steps and focused but didn't focus on the time and stayed relax everything fell into place on its own. The energy I felt was calming yet energizing at the same time. When I stood back when all the flowers and ferns were in place I couldn't believe it was there in front of me. The tallest blue iris represented heaven, my single white iris represented man, and my ferns represented earth. I added three more blue irises for the representation of death.
I won first place for the novice division and I was so happy. Not on the fact I pulled off an awesome arrangement but it did justice to what I was trying to represent. The arrangements were only allowed to be up for two days and while I was sad about that I did see a lot of foot traffic at the Women's Club when I visited to see it before I went to work.
I originally planned "My Neighbor Totoro" by Hayao Miyazaki, who is like the Disney of Japan when it comes to anime minus parks and all that stuff, themed arrangement. But then the earthquake and tsunami disasters hit and I scrapped my original plan immediately. I had no spirit for it, the first week was hard for me to watch. I sometimes felt sick but I couldn't turn away from any incoming information or videos, I had to know.
With everything going on I completely forgot about the flower show. About 3 weeks before the flower show my cousin called and asked what I was planning to do and all I said was an Ikebana arrangement. I didn't have a plan. Then it hit me like an enlightened moment. Since the quake and tsunami I felt helpless, having no way to help but a small donation to the relief effort for what was happening in Japan. I wanted to do something, even if it was small. The Fiesta Flower Show was my something. I knew then I wanted to honor the victims and the nation of Japan as a whole.
After speaking to my meditation instructor she was thrilled about my idea and was happy to give me a lesson directed at my vision. It took a lot of time, right up to the day before the flower show, for our schedules to allow us to meet. She had already given me a heads up on what kind to flowers to buy and ferns. The lesson went smoothly at her house, it was like all the pieces were coming together. I learned the basics of Ikebana, the representation of heaven, man, and earth and the rules. And one rule that was not commonly known I was grateful to learn. Never the same colored flowers of the same type are used except when making an arrangement for the dead. I knew I also wanted one white flower in the arrangement because white was the color of mourning in Japan.
Doria was so wonderful to me. Gentle and guiding and not at all stern. I soaked up what she said like a sponge. She also gave me her own personal Ikebana supplies to borrow. I felt and still feel so honored. She told me that Ikebana was all about the vision and whatever you think you wanted you needed to let the flowers and the space speak to you. I was a little nervous on that part, I understood it because didn't quiet get it how I would 'hear' it spoken to me. I certainly learned who she meant the next morning when I did the arrangement two hours before the judging.
As I went through the steps and focused but didn't focus on the time and stayed relax everything fell into place on its own. The energy I felt was calming yet energizing at the same time. When I stood back when all the flowers and ferns were in place I couldn't believe it was there in front of me. The tallest blue iris represented heaven, my single white iris represented man, and my ferns represented earth. I added three more blue irises for the representation of death.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Japan Support going Strong if silent!
Sometimes I wonder if people in my area are really giving the tsunami disaster attention now that media is turning most of the attention on Libya. But at Mizuumi-Con Saturday I saw many jars and boxes with donations for Japan, and the local Japanese Association, JASSA, was doing a sale of Japanese items to raise money. My Japanese teacher told me they plan to do a similar sale at all the public colleges and University campuses, which is a total of ten if they're able to go to all of them! I also see signs and ways for people to donate. This brightens my spirit, so while its not being talked about people are not forgetting about Japan. As a college student I can't give much in funds but I'm bringing Japan attention in different ways. I took my dog Yoko to a Fiesta Fido and Fashion Show Sunday that was to raise money for the local Humane Society, she wore a doggie yukata I bought for her when I visit Japan in 09. We're going to attend another Fiesta dog event on the 9th, this time I'll be wearing my yukata too! Someone might argue it doesn't really go with Fiesta, but yukata are usually worn during summer festivals and here in Texas its already hot as summer on some days! Plus, Fiesta was original a festival but now is much more here in San Antonio.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Usagi Yukata
Earlier this month I wore my usagi yukata to the Shambhala Day Gala. Usagi is rabbit, yukata is a summer kimono. I plan to be wearing this yukata a lot because its the year of the Iron Rabbit. I didn't get photos that did it justice on Shambhala Day but I did yesterday. In Japan its not... proper to wear it until usually May but I'm in Texas and it was 90 degrees yesterday, so exceptions can be made with climate! I wore it yesterday because I was attending an anime convention at Our Lady of the Lake University. I'm part of the San Antonio College Japanese club and the club was selling various Japanese food to raise money.
In the picture I'm sitting next to my friend who is also the President of the Japanese club. I find very amusing that my best photo in this yukata was when I was feeling really icky from allergies and almost didn't attend the convention!
In the picture I'm sitting next to my friend who is also the President of the Japanese club. I find very amusing that my best photo in this yukata was when I was feeling really icky from allergies and almost didn't attend the convention!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Enjoy the Irony, World Water Day
Today at work my kids were treated to outside science program that is usually reserved for the older kids, my grade has never been given the opportunity simply because of their age. Today the topic was Global Warming and while they didn't completely understand the concept they were able to grasp it fairly well that it impressed the guest instructor. They were given little globe bouncing balls as rewards. I was given one too. On the fling of the moment just after they all went home I took a picture of it with my reusable water bottle from World Market. When I got home I discovered via twitter today was World Water Day. One irony was the fact the kids did and experiment to understand the melting ice caps and the fact that today was World Water Day was never mentioned once. The other of course was my picture, as you can see.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
An Effort in Patience and Gentleness (aka, don't scream and cuss)
I am finding myself trying to use what I learn in Shambhala more towards my family because of conflicts than with the rest of the world
My relations with my relatives is not on very solid standing is the best way to describe it. One of the reasons came to a head Tuesday in result from something that didn't happen Monday. Monday morning my cousin called me, her son was building a web page for one of his clients who does appliance repairs. The reason she called with this info is because I haven't been able to cook for over a year. I'm living in my grandmother's house, going to college and keeping an eye on the property since they family hasn't sold it and some needs to live here to watch it. Its over 60 years old, and from what I can tell the stove and oven unit is as old. Last year one of the burners wouldn't turn off, and since the unit is completely electric, I had to unplug. Long story short over the past year as a student I didn't have money to consider getting it fix, or if I did I didn't have time to have someone come look at it. I work everyday during the week and go to classes as well for my degree. My family has finally offered to help me pay for the repairs.
This week is spring break, I'm both off from school and work because I work for an independent school district, so my cousin called me and asked if I would be home from 1 to 5pm. I said yes, only that he call me so I have a heads up to get my dog in the back of the house. I stayed home all day and he neither called nor showed. I didn't call my cousin because the connection was through her son and waited for her to call me on the details. When did call Tuesday around noon I was in a meeting, taking care of things I only had time to do during spring break, and couldn't answer my phone. When I tried to call her back she wouldn't answer. She eventually called me back 6pm scolding me of the phone, saying I didn't answer the man's phone call and refused to believe me that he didn't call at all. She started to belittle me and call my words 'excuses'. I cut her off and told her I wouldn't be spoken to in that way and hung up, I wasn't going to argue a lost cause.
My family has constantly treated me as if all I do is lie, steal, and hinted they suspect me of doing drugs. Where they get these notions I have no clue. I have never been around 'crowd' to suggest it, I've never been in trouble with the law at all. Ever. I hardly have any social life, and by social I mean just meeting friends on campus between classes much less off of it. It is beyond bizarre and literally freaks the few number of friends who have met my family and seen how they treat me past the screen of social facade.
So this cousin is a retired teacher, I want to teach. She constantly compares my college struggle with hers, without taking the fact that its been over 50 years when she got her degree and I am trying to get mine. Things are a lot differences between now and then, and when I point them out she calls it an excuse and I'm not working hard enough. I don't have any immediate family to support me, everyone is dead. I don't qualify for most financial aid and scholarships. So whenever I have problems because I have obligations and responsibilities like work that conflict with my studies she calls them excuses. She says without saying the words directly that I am lying to her, I had time to do this so I obviously had time to do what she thinks I'm suppose to and was simply too lazy to do it. Everything that doesn't happen right is my fault and all I do it make excuses, according to her. Example; I either go training that happens when I have class, thereby missing class, or go to class and miss the training and thereby loose my job. She calls it an excuse that I miss class, even though if I had gone to class I would have lost my job.
So Tuesday was another lost cause trying to talk to her, because she refused to listen. I called the nun in our family, and since my family is primary catholic going to the nun for advice is the only way not to seeking help and be accused of causing trouble. After listening to me, how hurt I was, and sorry I had to hang up but felt there was no point because this has been going on for year, she told me to email my cousin the facts and how I feel with her treating me the way she does. I did, and I got a response that only upsets me more. She didn't apologize directly, only indirectly on her 'words', but also didn't apologize for not listening to my side of the story. My email had over 100 words in it. I get a reply of 15 words.
Its a battle for me not to respond with a heated reply for her very short and in many ways rude reply. The nun wants me to talk to her over the phone on the email, right now I'm trying to tamper down the hurt. Until I have a handle on these raging emotions I know it would not be a very wise idea to take another approach.
My relations with my relatives is not on very solid standing is the best way to describe it. One of the reasons came to a head Tuesday in result from something that didn't happen Monday. Monday morning my cousin called me, her son was building a web page for one of his clients who does appliance repairs. The reason she called with this info is because I haven't been able to cook for over a year. I'm living in my grandmother's house, going to college and keeping an eye on the property since they family hasn't sold it and some needs to live here to watch it. Its over 60 years old, and from what I can tell the stove and oven unit is as old. Last year one of the burners wouldn't turn off, and since the unit is completely electric, I had to unplug. Long story short over the past year as a student I didn't have money to consider getting it fix, or if I did I didn't have time to have someone come look at it. I work everyday during the week and go to classes as well for my degree. My family has finally offered to help me pay for the repairs.
This week is spring break, I'm both off from school and work because I work for an independent school district, so my cousin called me and asked if I would be home from 1 to 5pm. I said yes, only that he call me so I have a heads up to get my dog in the back of the house. I stayed home all day and he neither called nor showed. I didn't call my cousin because the connection was through her son and waited for her to call me on the details. When did call Tuesday around noon I was in a meeting, taking care of things I only had time to do during spring break, and couldn't answer my phone. When I tried to call her back she wouldn't answer. She eventually called me back 6pm scolding me of the phone, saying I didn't answer the man's phone call and refused to believe me that he didn't call at all. She started to belittle me and call my words 'excuses'. I cut her off and told her I wouldn't be spoken to in that way and hung up, I wasn't going to argue a lost cause.
My family has constantly treated me as if all I do is lie, steal, and hinted they suspect me of doing drugs. Where they get these notions I have no clue. I have never been around 'crowd' to suggest it, I've never been in trouble with the law at all. Ever. I hardly have any social life, and by social I mean just meeting friends on campus between classes much less off of it. It is beyond bizarre and literally freaks the few number of friends who have met my family and seen how they treat me past the screen of social facade.
So this cousin is a retired teacher, I want to teach. She constantly compares my college struggle with hers, without taking the fact that its been over 50 years when she got her degree and I am trying to get mine. Things are a lot differences between now and then, and when I point them out she calls it an excuse and I'm not working hard enough. I don't have any immediate family to support me, everyone is dead. I don't qualify for most financial aid and scholarships. So whenever I have problems because I have obligations and responsibilities like work that conflict with my studies she calls them excuses. She says without saying the words directly that I am lying to her, I had time to do this so I obviously had time to do what she thinks I'm suppose to and was simply too lazy to do it. Everything that doesn't happen right is my fault and all I do it make excuses, according to her. Example; I either go training that happens when I have class, thereby missing class, or go to class and miss the training and thereby loose my job. She calls it an excuse that I miss class, even though if I had gone to class I would have lost my job.
So Tuesday was another lost cause trying to talk to her, because she refused to listen. I called the nun in our family, and since my family is primary catholic going to the nun for advice is the only way not to seeking help and be accused of causing trouble. After listening to me, how hurt I was, and sorry I had to hang up but felt there was no point because this has been going on for year, she told me to email my cousin the facts and how I feel with her treating me the way she does. I did, and I got a response that only upsets me more. She didn't apologize directly, only indirectly on her 'words', but also didn't apologize for not listening to my side of the story. My email had over 100 words in it. I get a reply of 15 words.
Its a battle for me not to respond with a heated reply for her very short and in many ways rude reply. The nun wants me to talk to her over the phone on the email, right now I'm trying to tamper down the hurt. Until I have a handle on these raging emotions I know it would not be a very wise idea to take another approach.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Kyudo
This is a video of the first time I saw Kyudo at the Meji Shrine in Tokyo, Japan in June 2009. It is an example of an advanced form which I won't be able to learn for many, many years.
Shambhala Day
I am a bit late in updating my journal again, I had midterms and lots of issues popped up at work where I basically collapsed when I got home before rising for school the next morning.
March 5th this year was Shambala Day. Shambhala day is held on the Tibetan New Year. This year is the year of the Iron Rabbit. Tibetan year astrology adds in elemental elements on top of what most people know of the Chinese New Year.
I arrived a little bit late and missed the opening of the day. But I arrived in time to take part of a cleansing practice where we used water and later gave offerings at the Shrine. We also did a lot of short meditation contemplations. I can't really remember what they were, I was a little jittery coming in late and jumping right in when I had no idea what was going on. I also ended up with a lady that was.... very serious about the whole thing. Not to the point of rudeness but adding onto my nervousness. But after the practice we all stood and one by one took grapes as part of the offering and passed Juniper smoke over up from a bowl on the alter. After this we had a brake for a small bit of time while the Shrine Room was rearranged. We had to bring a chair up front and arrange cosions for the teachers and members of the council. A few were stepping down their positions and others were being sworn in or renewing their vows. I helped out and snapped some photos.
A chair for the director, a table with bowel with charcoal and Juniper grass used for purification. When someone give something, even just a paper with a vow or a gift it is passed through the juniper smoke. Also calendars, Lasung gifts, and membership pins were brought in for the ceremony.
So for most of the ceremony I was an observe, as usual, but then when it came for new memberships I went to receive my vows. It was more of statement that I feel part of the sanga and officially joining membership. Because I didn't know of the order of which things were happening, nor did I know I was receive official status that day I wasn't able to give my camera to anyone to get my photo when I receive my membership pin from the director. After this everyone was given a calendar to use to track when they practiced what meditations and a lasung gift, which is used to purify your house after a spring cleaning, and we walked under a prayer flag.
The prayer flag belong to Doria, she and her husband were the Directors of the Shambhala Mountain Center in Colorado when the Sakyong married a few years ago. The brides family ordered three thousand of these prayer flags from Nepal to line the streets of the procession for the wedding. After the wedding Doria and her husband were given with one of the flags as a gift.
After this we set up for the international Shambhala Day broadcast set up through webcams. I will say there were hiccups, but it was fun none the less. This Shambhala Day was special because it was the first time the community had seen the Sakyong in about a year, he had gone on a year retreat and only briefly broken it when his daughter was born.
This post does not do justice to the events on Shambhala Day and I wish I had forced myself to write about it the day afterward. But there are a few things coming up I will strive to do better on. I'm going to Doria's house sometime this week to learn Ikebana for a flower arrangement contest next month and we have a Kyudo ceremony that was suppose to be part of Shambhala Day that has yet to be rescheduled I am looking forward to.
March 5th this year was Shambala Day. Shambhala day is held on the Tibetan New Year. This year is the year of the Iron Rabbit. Tibetan year astrology adds in elemental elements on top of what most people know of the Chinese New Year.
So for most of the ceremony I was an observe, as usual, but then when it came for new memberships I went to receive my vows. It was more of statement that I feel part of the sanga and officially joining membership. Because I didn't know of the order of which things were happening, nor did I know I was receive official status that day I wasn't able to give my camera to anyone to get my photo when I receive my membership pin from the director. After this everyone was given a calendar to use to track when they practiced what meditations and a lasung gift, which is used to purify your house after a spring cleaning, and we walked under a prayer flag.
After this we set up for the international Shambhala Day broadcast set up through webcams. I will say there were hiccups, but it was fun none the less. This Shambhala Day was special because it was the first time the community had seen the Sakyong in about a year, he had gone on a year retreat and only briefly broken it when his daughter was born.
This post does not do justice to the events on Shambhala Day and I wish I had forced myself to write about it the day afterward. But there are a few things coming up I will strive to do better on. I'm going to Doria's house sometime this week to learn Ikebana for a flower arrangement contest next month and we have a Kyudo ceremony that was suppose to be part of Shambhala Day that has yet to be rescheduled I am looking forward to.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Irony is not beyond me.
Here I am, alone without a boyfriend or anyone for that matter and my dog seems to have an admirer two houses down.
Yes, I just said that. My dog might have a beau in the form of a rambunctious yellow lab two houses down from where we live. We met him two days ago when I took Yoko for a short walk before heading into study for an exam the next day. The beau is named Sooner, and when he say Yoko he charge right at her in a submissive PLAY WITH ME NOW body language. He was off leash, Yoko is on leash, needless to say that would have been problems as it was, but did I mentioned he charged? The dork didn't approach right at all, going straight up to her face, and it startled Yoko. I almost had a fight on my hands in front of kids no less. But once I got the bumbling fool to sniff Yoko's butt and slow down to follow normal dog protocol all was fine. When we came heading back from our walk he charged again, but Yoko was fine with it. Good grief, she wanted to run off and play with him.
Now why do I think this dog might like Yoko? Because we were not the only ones out walking, and Yoko was not the only dog. But she was the only one Sooner ran up to. I have been worrying about Yoko not having anyone to play with and being alone for so long each day as I am at school and then work. Well, if I'm able to get relations going a bit I might have found a friend for her, yes?
In Shambhala its believe things will work out, opportunities will present themselves. I think one just did. Hopefully I'll be posting on this again in a few weeks or months, with pictures!
Yes, I just said that. My dog might have a beau in the form of a rambunctious yellow lab two houses down from where we live. We met him two days ago when I took Yoko for a short walk before heading into study for an exam the next day. The beau is named Sooner, and when he say Yoko he charge right at her in a submissive PLAY WITH ME NOW body language. He was off leash, Yoko is on leash, needless to say that would have been problems as it was, but did I mentioned he charged? The dork didn't approach right at all, going straight up to her face, and it startled Yoko. I almost had a fight on my hands in front of kids no less. But once I got the bumbling fool to sniff Yoko's butt and slow down to follow normal dog protocol all was fine. When we came heading back from our walk he charged again, but Yoko was fine with it. Good grief, she wanted to run off and play with him.
Now why do I think this dog might like Yoko? Because we were not the only ones out walking, and Yoko was not the only dog. But she was the only one Sooner ran up to. I have been worrying about Yoko not having anyone to play with and being alone for so long each day as I am at school and then work. Well, if I'm able to get relations going a bit I might have found a friend for her, yes?
In Shambhala its believe things will work out, opportunities will present themselves. I think one just did. Hopefully I'll be posting on this again in a few weeks or months, with pictures!
So many things!!
I have been so busy with school, I can't believe a month has gone by from when I had last posted. Things at the center have also been busy too. On February 4-6th Acharya Moh Hardin taught "The Way of Shambhala: Wisdom for Everyday life".
This training is... like level six I believe. Normally you aren't allowed to take it until you've taken the levels under it because it covers things that are covered in the previous five levels. But since its the Acharya under the Sakyong, and things seems to be done differently at the center here, it was... allowed? It was a confusing and yet fun weekend, even if I was missing the annual Asian New Year Festival held only a mile away. It just happened to be scheduled by accident that way. The Chinese New Year is the basis of the festival but all Asian/Pacific cultures that can be present also participate. Frankly it needs to be expanded or moved soon, its become so popular and so many thousands of people go annually.
Anyways, the "Wisdom of Everyday life" was exploring the meaning of ego, egolessness, the four dignities, and a new meditation practice. I will admit I have been bad and have not once practiced it since the weekend, I've been hitting the ground running so much with school, work, and life being exceeding hectic this past month. The four dignities are the "meek" tiger, "perky" lion, "outrageous" garuda, and the "inscrutable" dragon. Meek? Why would anyone want to be meek? Well, lets just say the normal definitions do not apply to these words and wrapping your brain around the basis understanding from the Eastern thought was heavy part of the talks and discussions. We spent many hours on each one needless to say.
So that was the weekend, but things didn't slow after that. Monday there were 'interviews' schedule and I grab the second to last slot left at 8pm. I had questions, that were personal to me that I wanted uninterrupted time. Because if I asked it during the weekend it would have been during an open discussion. My questions were my how I feel lost and yet found; I feel a deep connection to the core teaching of Shambhala and especially the practice of Kyudo, as if I am a lost child that was in a room of gray trying to find the white light. I can only so 'so far' here in my city with Kyudo, I have very little chance to practice it as it is. There were also questions I had in trying to figure out answers to the Sakyong's letter, which they helped me clarify but I will admit I have been so consumed with work and school that I didn't get to replying. Whoops.
The Tuesday after the weekend was the Refuge Vow Ceremony. I was excited and nervous, I had heard only vague information about it ans was eager to watch and learn more. My nervousness went up ten fold when I walked through the door, everyone was dressed up and I was in my jeans straight from work. Ack!!! No one said anything, they were fine with how I was, but it was hard to be comfortable just out of reflex for a good while. There were... seven people I believe who were taking their refuge vows. The vows are a formal way declaring yourself to be following the teaching of the Buddha, not as a supreme being, but as the 'idol'. I really do enjoy listening to Acharya Hardin and Sangyum Grieve, they were very humorous, dignified, great to listen to. Part of the ceremony is being given a Buddhist name, based off an 'interview' with the Acharya and the Sangyum and what they felt best represented you. You do not get to choose it, you don't even known what it is until it is given to you. This does not replace your original name, though some it is said do eventually change it legally.
So the ceremony it self it very simple, and Acharya Hardin very good explaining each part of it so everyone who were clueless (like me, lol) could really understand what the vow and each moment really meant in meaning. I am not going to go into detail because I don't want to create confusion or misconceptions. There was also rice throwing as part of it, and I had to fight to not giggle like a silly girl because it was like a wedding. In a way it was, the Acharya said when I spoke to him later. I suppose so...
So since then I haven't really participated in the Sanga, as I have mentioned because of classes and work, other than making my way down there to sit a few times.There have been levels offered in the past month but I won't be able to attend a weekend level for some time. One of my co-workers lost her brother and we were short for a bit because of that. Another became severely ill, same week mind you. So I have had to go in early for work to help my boss get things situated to handle 110 children spread through a shorter staff. For all the stress, especially with work being short staff and handling twenty or more kids everyday and falling behind but keeping my grades up in classes I am reasonably calm. I have had several trainings thrown at me last minute by my boss, which have forced me to miss classes, but I am handling the stress well. I know a year ago I wouldn't be as I am now. And I have a pretty good idea why.
This training is... like level six I believe. Normally you aren't allowed to take it until you've taken the levels under it because it covers things that are covered in the previous five levels. But since its the Acharya under the Sakyong, and things seems to be done differently at the center here, it was... allowed? It was a confusing and yet fun weekend, even if I was missing the annual Asian New Year Festival held only a mile away. It just happened to be scheduled by accident that way. The Chinese New Year is the basis of the festival but all Asian/Pacific cultures that can be present also participate. Frankly it needs to be expanded or moved soon, its become so popular and so many thousands of people go annually.
Anyways, the "Wisdom of Everyday life" was exploring the meaning of ego, egolessness, the four dignities, and a new meditation practice. I will admit I have been bad and have not once practiced it since the weekend, I've been hitting the ground running so much with school, work, and life being exceeding hectic this past month. The four dignities are the "meek" tiger, "perky" lion, "outrageous" garuda, and the "inscrutable" dragon. Meek? Why would anyone want to be meek? Well, lets just say the normal definitions do not apply to these words and wrapping your brain around the basis understanding from the Eastern thought was heavy part of the talks and discussions. We spent many hours on each one needless to say.
So that was the weekend, but things didn't slow after that. Monday there were 'interviews' schedule and I grab the second to last slot left at 8pm. I had questions, that were personal to me that I wanted uninterrupted time. Because if I asked it during the weekend it would have been during an open discussion. My questions were my how I feel lost and yet found; I feel a deep connection to the core teaching of Shambhala and especially the practice of Kyudo, as if I am a lost child that was in a room of gray trying to find the white light. I can only so 'so far' here in my city with Kyudo, I have very little chance to practice it as it is. There were also questions I had in trying to figure out answers to the Sakyong's letter, which they helped me clarify but I will admit I have been so consumed with work and school that I didn't get to replying. Whoops.
The Tuesday after the weekend was the Refuge Vow Ceremony. I was excited and nervous, I had heard only vague information about it ans was eager to watch and learn more. My nervousness went up ten fold when I walked through the door, everyone was dressed up and I was in my jeans straight from work. Ack!!! No one said anything, they were fine with how I was, but it was hard to be comfortable just out of reflex for a good while. There were... seven people I believe who were taking their refuge vows. The vows are a formal way declaring yourself to be following the teaching of the Buddha, not as a supreme being, but as the 'idol'. I really do enjoy listening to Acharya Hardin and Sangyum Grieve, they were very humorous, dignified, great to listen to. Part of the ceremony is being given a Buddhist name, based off an 'interview' with the Acharya and the Sangyum and what they felt best represented you. You do not get to choose it, you don't even known what it is until it is given to you. This does not replace your original name, though some it is said do eventually change it legally.
So the ceremony it self it very simple, and Acharya Hardin very good explaining each part of it so everyone who were clueless (like me, lol) could really understand what the vow and each moment really meant in meaning. I am not going to go into detail because I don't want to create confusion or misconceptions. There was also rice throwing as part of it, and I had to fight to not giggle like a silly girl because it was like a wedding. In a way it was, the Acharya said when I spoke to him later. I suppose so...
So since then I haven't really participated in the Sanga, as I have mentioned because of classes and work, other than making my way down there to sit a few times.There have been levels offered in the past month but I won't be able to attend a weekend level for some time. One of my co-workers lost her brother and we were short for a bit because of that. Another became severely ill, same week mind you. So I have had to go in early for work to help my boss get things situated to handle 110 children spread through a shorter staff. For all the stress, especially with work being short staff and handling twenty or more kids everyday and falling behind but keeping my grades up in classes I am reasonably calm. I have had several trainings thrown at me last minute by my boss, which have forced me to miss classes, but I am handling the stress well. I know a year ago I wouldn't be as I am now. And I have a pretty good idea why.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Awareness in the Now... with McDonalds!
If you're lost about the title of this post, you'll see my friend you'll see.
So in Shambhala the meditation is meant to help with are awareness, living in the now. Have you ever driven and get home and not remember the entire drive but you knew you took the usual route home? You mind was not completely focused on the drive, imagine what 'might' have happened if something unexpected happening... I suppose you get the idea.
Well today at 7:15 am I was driving down San Pedro south of 410 toward San Antonio College for classes. Its 22 degrees outside, needless to say this is not normal weather for South Texas. So after a few blocks I run into a few miles where all the power is off. No street lights, not signals, no businesses have power at all. And yet half way through this blackout area I see a McDonalds, with about ten cars in the drive thru. Did I mention there is no power? There is no one in building? And yet these people are driving up expecting service. I kinda sat in my car in shock for a good minute before it was my turn to go through the stop and go of the signal area. What was worse, there were more people pulling into the lot getting in line.
Are these people awake? I think I found a new example about living in the 'Now' awareness....
So in Shambhala the meditation is meant to help with are awareness, living in the now. Have you ever driven and get home and not remember the entire drive but you knew you took the usual route home? You mind was not completely focused on the drive, imagine what 'might' have happened if something unexpected happening... I suppose you get the idea.
Well today at 7:15 am I was driving down San Pedro south of 410 toward San Antonio College for classes. Its 22 degrees outside, needless to say this is not normal weather for South Texas. So after a few blocks I run into a few miles where all the power is off. No street lights, not signals, no businesses have power at all. And yet half way through this blackout area I see a McDonalds, with about ten cars in the drive thru. Did I mention there is no power? There is no one in building? And yet these people are driving up expecting service. I kinda sat in my car in shock for a good minute before it was my turn to go through the stop and go of the signal area. What was worse, there were more people pulling into the lot getting in line.
Are these people awake? I think I found a new example about living in the 'Now' awareness....
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sanga Gathering- The Sakyong's Letter
I am a bit under the weather, my sinuses being congestion and irritated the last few days I'm worried it might develop into an actually illness if it continues. But even though I feel ill I was determined to get to the center today. Today we had a special gathering because the Sakyong had sent out a letter to all the centers for everyone to read. It was a very long letter. It was an inspiring letter in a sense, though I am unable to fully express it because I sick I still want to write about the experience today before classes, studies, and work pull my attention away. He was speaking of the path of Shambhala is not just individual but one of community and that of a global sense. The world is in turmoil, so very true, and he feels the Shambhala teachings can help end conflicts. And I have to agree with him, if only world leaders could follow the teachings. They do not require any certain religious faith and there for can be applied to any one person. Its hard to wrap my head around everything today, I gained insight to more than I expected.
What really touched me was as much as he was seeking every person in the Sanga to help strengthen and spread the growth of Shambhala he was not making it as a mandate. He did not say, I want this, you to do that, it is required of you. He did not bring that into the message, he made it into three questions in the end for each and every person in the Sanga to think about with their path and how Shambhala fits into it.
Shambhala is not just helping oneself, but helping others, and making an enlightened society. This does not mean a perfect society dedicated to one faith, not at all, and that was part of his messaged too. I found it very touching to me, because even though I find myself now drawn toward maybe becoming a Buddhist I do not see the world as 'only buddhist', I have never seen the world that way. Even when my family tried to make me think, 'all must be Christian' and other beliefs such as that I would ways say, why? Why can you not accept someone who is kind and different from you as they are and live peacefully with that? That is one of the biggest revelations to me that I have 'felt' but did not 'realized' I identified with Shambhala. It is does not matter if you are Buddhist, Shambhala as it is can stand alone in some one's life without direct attachment to any one religion. Yes, the teachings come from Buddha originally but that is what they are. Teachings, not leaps of faith and requirements.
Another things I found today I was not expecting is that as a community there are shifting tides. I had to contemplate how to write this discovery, as it is asked that you do not speak of other peoples' words that they speak so privately about in our discussion groups of the letter. But this discovery actually brought clarity to a part of the Sakyong's letter that I didn't understand. Apparently when Chogyam Trungpa passed away there were people who did not what to make of the Sakyong, there are some who don't see him as 'their teacher' I was a bit stunned by this. I truly was stunned by this and as I heard this, as echoed around me. I was confused, almost horrified, how can you say that? How can you sit here, say you follow the teachings that were handed down not by scripture but by oral teachings to an heir? I said nothing, I sat and listened and when we had departed I thought over the letter and as of switch had been flipped a part of the letter made sense, the Sakyong said the Sanga has been mourning and maturing and he felt now was the time for things to progress in a way. There was more to the letter, but I found it amazing he knew there were people in the Sanga that quietly felt this way and left it alone and focused on strengthening the Sanga in a different way, helping it mature but not change at all. I can't really go into any more detail in that sense for the privacy of others, but it was amazing to me.
It was also asked that you write a response to the letter and answers to the three questions left for each member of the Sanga. I am still feeling out my answers as how to word them but in general I know what I want to write. I'll write the three questions and an overview once I feel I have the right words and have sent the message to the Sakyong, as I feel the need to share in my journey withing the Shambhala Sanga but at the same time keep the exact words to the Sakyong for the time to be private.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Coexist
A few days ago I put a Coexist decal on the back of my car. I've been wanting one for years and I received one for Christmas and I'm just now getting around to putting it on. Well, a friend on facebook was apparently snobby about it. He is a very strong Christian and was like, "I don't understand the whole coexist thing". We've been going tit for tack for two days now, he saying it is not possible to respect someone else religion or way of life if its not 'Christian'. Amazingly I haven't lost my temper, something I want to do. I keep thinking about the Shambhala teaching from the center and while I rebuke him I'm also being gentle with my words and providing a point. I didn't know until I posted the picture I took how pretty the coexist came out, the reflection of the trees and the blue sky. So I will share here too! If only I wasn't in the reflection... lol
Friday, January 28, 2011
I have been reading Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa for a few days now, bit by bit. At the end of chapter three, The Genuine Heart of Sadness my mind jumped to a scene in the movie Howl's Moving Castle that fits what I think he is describing in the chapter. It brings new meaning that I never saw within the story of Howl's Moving Castle.
I am torn in how to write what I mean, I'm sure there are people who have not seen Howl's Moving Castle by Hayao Miyazaki, without spoiling the movie. I suppose I should just reference what Chogyam Trunga is saying, or I feel he is saying, that relates to the movie. That for most of our lives we live out of touch with our hearts, we are afraid of what might lie within. It is empty, and in a way we are empty, as we are not aware of our true selves or afraid of looking in and seeing the real 'you'.
Howl is living without his heart for much of the movie and when he becomes in touch with it his he says "I feel terrible", "trapped under a stone". Sophie, the main character in Howl's Moving Castle we follow through out the movie, replies, "A heart is a heavy burden."
I suppose this doesn't make sense, well if you haven't seen the movie that is or what I am referencing from Chogyam Trunga. But I don't want to spoil the movie. I don't want to go into depth how other things connect with what Chogyam Trunga is saying within this one chapter that is within the movie. But this one scene is what popped into my brain that correlates with what Chogyam Trunga is saying within the book. There are several more scenes within the movie that speak to what Chogyam Trunga is saying but I will resist spilling the beans. Its always more fun to experience a movie first hand than hearing what someone else thinks and expecting for this or that.
I just find it ironic, an anime in all things. But then again I don't think I should be surprised, Hayao Miyazaki is a master story teller of his craft, the Disney of anime as far as I am concerned. I would not be surprised if these underlying messages were purposefully placed within the movie and possibly why many westerners didn't enjoy it as much as eastern audiences because they don't see the connections just as I didn't until I became aware of these teachings. Who knows. I wonder if any other of Miyazaki's movies will pop into my head as I continue reading, hm.
I am torn in how to write what I mean, I'm sure there are people who have not seen Howl's Moving Castle by Hayao Miyazaki, without spoiling the movie. I suppose I should just reference what Chogyam Trunga is saying, or I feel he is saying, that relates to the movie. That for most of our lives we live out of touch with our hearts, we are afraid of what might lie within. It is empty, and in a way we are empty, as we are not aware of our true selves or afraid of looking in and seeing the real 'you'.
Howl is living without his heart for much of the movie and when he becomes in touch with it his he says "I feel terrible", "trapped under a stone". Sophie, the main character in Howl's Moving Castle we follow through out the movie, replies, "A heart is a heavy burden."
I suppose this doesn't make sense, well if you haven't seen the movie that is or what I am referencing from Chogyam Trunga. But I don't want to spoil the movie. I don't want to go into depth how other things connect with what Chogyam Trunga is saying within this one chapter that is within the movie. But this one scene is what popped into my brain that correlates with what Chogyam Trunga is saying within the book. There are several more scenes within the movie that speak to what Chogyam Trunga is saying but I will resist spilling the beans. Its always more fun to experience a movie first hand than hearing what someone else thinks and expecting for this or that.
I just find it ironic, an anime in all things. But then again I don't think I should be surprised, Hayao Miyazaki is a master story teller of his craft, the Disney of anime as far as I am concerned. I would not be surprised if these underlying messages were purposefully placed within the movie and possibly why many westerners didn't enjoy it as much as eastern audiences because they don't see the connections just as I didn't until I became aware of these teachings. Who knows. I wonder if any other of Miyazaki's movies will pop into my head as I continue reading, hm.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
A Shambhala moment
Yesterday at work a situation arose with one of my students. Things were a little a bit of 'control chaos' until the situation was resolved. Afterwards with my students sitting down occupied my boss came to talk to me about it and paused just as she was beginning to speak. She looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked why I was smiling, I didn't even realise I was. She wasn't being rude, I've worked with her for four years now and I suppose I was acting out of character. For some reason I immediately said, "Shambhala." I don't know why, it was the first thing that popped out of my mouth without a single thought. She laughed and asked why I said that, and I honestly didn't know. Before I could ponder and think of an answer her attention was needed elsewhere with another situation. Even as she left, I didn't have an answer for her, or myself as I wondered why I said it as it was the most natural answer. It still felt like the right answer, though I didn't know the 'why'. I put it from my mind until I was packing up my supplies after all the students had gone home, and I still didn't know why. As I reflected on the moment, the answer was still the same.
It wasn't until this morning as I was getting ready to head to campus that I realized what that 'why' was. At that moment I was feeling, and therefore must be reacting, differently than normal. I didn't have the small knot of anxiety that would normally form in my back when things pop up like what had happen I would not realize was there or I would ignore wasn't there. I has been calm, more relaxed, but still focused as I normally would be on this kids but at the end of the day yesterday I wasn't exhausted as the anxiety would normally drain me. Its something very hard to describe but it I don't have to think of why I acted differently, nor did I immediately assume, the answer simply came to me.
If my boss hadn't had come to me to try to speak to me at that time and ask me at that moment I doubt I would have ever realized that I was behaving differently. I feel joy when I think about it now, for I feel that what Doria spoke of during the entire weekend in Level 1 was surfacing though I can't pick out a specific thing she said that resonates but more as a whole. Its confusing but not distressing, more... contemplative than anything. I can't think of how to describe it, other than Shambhala, just as I had answered.
It wasn't until this morning as I was getting ready to head to campus that I realized what that 'why' was. At that moment I was feeling, and therefore must be reacting, differently than normal. I didn't have the small knot of anxiety that would normally form in my back when things pop up like what had happen I would not realize was there or I would ignore wasn't there. I has been calm, more relaxed, but still focused as I normally would be on this kids but at the end of the day yesterday I wasn't exhausted as the anxiety would normally drain me. Its something very hard to describe but it I don't have to think of why I acted differently, nor did I immediately assume, the answer simply came to me.
If my boss hadn't had come to me to try to speak to me at that time and ask me at that moment I doubt I would have ever realized that I was behaving differently. I feel joy when I think about it now, for I feel that what Doria spoke of during the entire weekend in Level 1 was surfacing though I can't pick out a specific thing she said that resonates but more as a whole. Its confusing but not distressing, more... contemplative than anything. I can't think of how to describe it, other than Shambhala, just as I had answered.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The stories I hear
The one thing you learn fast is people like to tell stories, and always with humor at its core, in Shambhala. A story that I have thought about several times over the last few days that Doria told Saturday still makes me giggle.
Apparently years ago when the first or so seminary people were finding it difficult to take sitting meditation. Calling is torture and crazy among things, bemoaning sitting for hours on end. And word eventually reached
Chogyam Trungpa it seemed. So one day he walked in, slowly making his way to the front and stood before all who were sitting.
"Shall I call an ambulance?"
No one spoke and silence followed as he slowly walked out.
There are many stories that no matter how well it could be written, far better than I could ever dream of writing, will always best heard with laughter in the voice of the speaker. This is one of them, but I had to share.
Apparently years ago when the first or so seminary people were finding it difficult to take sitting meditation. Calling is torture and crazy among things, bemoaning sitting for hours on end. And word eventually reached
Chogyam Trungpa it seemed. So one day he walked in, slowly making his way to the front and stood before all who were sitting.
"Shall I call an ambulance?"
No one spoke and silence followed as he slowly walked out.
There are many stories that no matter how well it could be written, far better than I could ever dream of writing, will always best heard with laughter in the voice of the speaker. This is one of them, but I had to share.
The Dharma of Star Wars
During Shambhala Training Level I Doria was speaking of basic goodness, the primodrial purity, gentleness, being brave, and fear. In fear, I asked a question and asked for my geekness to be pardon as I pulled in a sci fi reference and quoted Yoda from Star Wars, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side." Well turns out, Doria liked me bring up Star Wars. She used Anikan and Darth Vader as an example of basic goodness, that in a moment we can wake up and realise we have it; when Vader became Anikan again at the end of Return to the Jedi. Also there is apparently a book called The Dharma of Star Wars by Matthew Bortolin which basically about Buddhist teaching within Star Wars. I ordered this book and it should arrive Friday and I can't wait to read it. It really made my day because I have wanted to find a book but something I could relate to, or find an author's writing style that allows me to grasp a greater understanding instead of struggling with it what I would read. Hopefully I found both in this book, I'll find out this weekend when I'll start to read bits and pieces of it.
I will admit though... I wish the cover was something a little more grand or something more simplistic.
Oh Well. LOL.
Shambhala Training Level I
I should probably be studying, but I feel the need to write about Level 1 while its still fresh. Plus, the tweet by the Dalai Lama on twitter is the essences of what is taught in Level 1 it felt right to quickly type it up.
This past weekend I attended Shambhala Training Level I : The Art of Being Human. I had been torn about attending, did I really want to be part of the Sanga? Did I really want to try more meditation? There were many 'questioning' emotions that I couldn't put into words. Was it fear? In a sense, it was, but it was also a questions if this is something for me or not. One hurtle was the asked price to pay for the training, I could only afford a fifth of it because the week before was the first week of classes, buying supplies, books, and my paycheck was less than half of the normal amount due to pay cut and in reflecting the holiday break in December. But again, the gracious warm and openness of the Sanga. Pay what I could, and make up later for donations. Most people would balk at the amount asked for 'just sitting' as they would think, but there is so many people involved, supporting the center, and paying for food because both breakfast and lunch were provided it wasn't expensive at all once you broke it down. Its just I'm a poor college student... alas.
As luck would have my friend Audra was also interested in meditation and attended with me. Her money situation was even worse than mine but they were open and accepting of her situation as well. Saturday morning was started at 8:30am with breakfast of fruit, bread, and oatmeal with a selection of brown sugar, raisins, and milk to add. It was all very yummy. Though, I will admit Audra and I picked up breakfast tacos on the way just so we didn't look like pigs. We need not have worried, I should have taken note from Jetsun's birth Celebration and the Winter Solstice Party that the Sanga loves food.
After an hour the bell was run to make our way to the shrine room. There was a long pleasant talk by Doria, who was our director for the training, about being gentle with ourselves as we practiced, being gentle with others, and what basic goodness is. We has meditation instruction by Besty and then we rotated sitting and walking meditation, stopping for short breaks and interviews. Lunch was offered with Mediterranean salad and break. Very yummy, though I have to admit I picked out the olives and mushrooms and sheepishly returned my plate while every one's else was picked clean.
After lunch we had another talk, then more sitting and walking meditation. We broke for half an hour for tea and then more sitting and walking meditation. As you can see, lots of sitting and walking meditation. One thing that I noticed though that a lot of people who were repeating Level 1 for the experience kept talking about how 'torturious' their first Level 1 was and I couldn't help but have a giant question mark above my head. I wasn't finding it a torture, a challenge yes, but torture? I wonder if the few times I came to sit during public sits helped.
That night Audra and I went to dinner with a few of the teachers and people who were also attending the training at a coffee house called CandleLight. It was nice, very nice and Audra and I immediately felt sweat drops at the back of our heads because of our tiny bank accounts. I paid for Audra and thankfully we were able to find something to eat and keep our combined check under $20, oh the woes of being a college student.
The next day was breakfast of quish, fruid, and bread. I had never had keish, so while I didn't find it bad to my taste buds I don't have anything to compare it to either. More sitting and walking meditation at a longer duration before a break of a disscussion group talking about what we feel we learned and our experiences. Then after another short meditation session Doria came in to talk once more and we were given Shambhala: Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa and lunch was offered before we left.
"Genuine love should first be directed at oneself – if we do not love ourselves, how can we love others?"
-Dalai Lama
As luck would have my friend Audra was also interested in meditation and attended with me. Her money situation was even worse than mine but they were open and accepting of her situation as well. Saturday morning was started at 8:30am with breakfast of fruit, bread, and oatmeal with a selection of brown sugar, raisins, and milk to add. It was all very yummy. Though, I will admit Audra and I picked up breakfast tacos on the way just so we didn't look like pigs. We need not have worried, I should have taken note from Jetsun's birth Celebration and the Winter Solstice Party that the Sanga loves food.
After an hour the bell was run to make our way to the shrine room. There was a long pleasant talk by Doria, who was our director for the training, about being gentle with ourselves as we practiced, being gentle with others, and what basic goodness is. We has meditation instruction by Besty and then we rotated sitting and walking meditation, stopping for short breaks and interviews. Lunch was offered with Mediterranean salad and break. Very yummy, though I have to admit I picked out the olives and mushrooms and sheepishly returned my plate while every one's else was picked clean.
After lunch we had another talk, then more sitting and walking meditation. We broke for half an hour for tea and then more sitting and walking meditation. As you can see, lots of sitting and walking meditation. One thing that I noticed though that a lot of people who were repeating Level 1 for the experience kept talking about how 'torturious' their first Level 1 was and I couldn't help but have a giant question mark above my head. I wasn't finding it a torture, a challenge yes, but torture? I wonder if the few times I came to sit during public sits helped.
That night Audra and I went to dinner with a few of the teachers and people who were also attending the training at a coffee house called CandleLight. It was nice, very nice and Audra and I immediately felt sweat drops at the back of our heads because of our tiny bank accounts. I paid for Audra and thankfully we were able to find something to eat and keep our combined check under $20, oh the woes of being a college student.
The next day was breakfast of quish, fruid, and bread. I had never had keish, so while I didn't find it bad to my taste buds I don't have anything to compare it to either. More sitting and walking meditation at a longer duration before a break of a disscussion group talking about what we feel we learned and our experiences. Then after another short meditation session Doria came in to talk once more and we were given Shambhala: Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chogyam Trungpa and lunch was offered before we left.
I enjoyed the experience, though I don't think I accomplished following my breath as instructed during most of the meditations I feel like for a few times I did. I think I will take Level II, though not for several months as I feel the need to take things a little slow. Although I doubt most would see that, since I'm already trying to think how to save up $1,000 to travel to Colorado for the Sanga Retreat with the Sakyong in June.
Jetsun Drukmo
On Sunday August 15th, 2010 was the first time I went to the Shambhala center to sit for meditation after attending an open house. As it turns out, my first sit was also a day of Celebration as Jetsun Drukmo, literally a princess in her own right, was born just a few days earlier on August 11th to the Sakyong and Sakyong Wangmo. I was a little unsure but everyone was radiating warm, excitement, and joy it was hard not to feel it too. A photo of Jetsun with her beaming parents, especially the grinning Sakyong, was at the center of the shrine with a crystal bowl below it to accept offerings of flowers.
Chants, lots of chants, were read and I gave up after the first one trying to keep up. I've never been good at reading and speaking with rhythm or smooth transition from line to line unless I've had a chance to read something over a dozen times so I sat in the moment to take everything in. The room was full, with a drummer hitting the beats to which most people kept up. Everyone had been given a daisy flower to give as offering and one by one we all went up, bowed to the Sakyong, Sakyong Wangmo, and Jetsun. Even though I had no idea what was going on in general and I followed the lead of everyone else the feeling of awkwardness was very small. The room was just so full of calm happiness that even with the practice decorum there wasn't a tense moment at all.
Afterwards there was food, lots of food. Lots of talking, laughter, and joy. I felt a little bit like an outsider in the sense this wasn't my world, I had just stepped into it theirs, but everyone was so happy I didn't feel like they were treating me an outsider because they weren't. It was my mind that made me feel like the outsider and the feeling of not knowing anything and ignorance shadowing questions.
I couldn't help but reflect the irony of everything, first Kyudo, and now Jetsun's birth just before I came to sit. I tried not to look too deeply then at it, since my mind was mainly a kyudo and not so much in joining the Sanga. That didn't last too long though, as it shows.
Chants, lots of chants, were read and I gave up after the first one trying to keep up. I've never been good at reading and speaking with rhythm or smooth transition from line to line unless I've had a chance to read something over a dozen times so I sat in the moment to take everything in. The room was full, with a drummer hitting the beats to which most people kept up. Everyone had been given a daisy flower to give as offering and one by one we all went up, bowed to the Sakyong, Sakyong Wangmo, and Jetsun. Even though I had no idea what was going on in general and I followed the lead of everyone else the feeling of awkwardness was very small. The room was just so full of calm happiness that even with the practice decorum there wasn't a tense moment at all.
Afterwards there was food, lots of food. Lots of talking, laughter, and joy. I felt a little bit like an outsider in the sense this wasn't my world, I had just stepped into it theirs, but everyone was so happy I didn't feel like they were treating me an outsider because they weren't. It was my mind that made me feel like the outsider and the feeling of not knowing anything and ignorance shadowing questions.
I couldn't help but reflect the irony of everything, first Kyudo, and now Jetsun's birth just before I came to sit. I tried not to look too deeply then at it, since my mind was mainly a kyudo and not so much in joining the Sanga. That didn't last too long though, as it shows.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
How I found Shambhala
It all starts in Tokyo, Japan in the summer of July 2009. During my stay in Tokyo a regional Kyudo competition was being held and some of the students from the schools attending were staying my hotel. With help of my group's tour guide I was able to find out where and when it would take place and it happened to be on our free day. So that morning I took the trains and witnessed the ceremonial opening and the blessing of the Shinto priest. After we returned to the US a few days after that event life returned to normal, well as normal as a student's life can be, but Kyudo wasn't far from my mind. In June of 2010 I finally googled to see if there was any Kyudo in the United States, much less within my state or my area. And this was how I found Shambhala. Kyudo is part of Shambhala through Shibata Sensei and Zenko. Shibata Sensei became friends with Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche who brought the Shambhala teachings to the west.
In July I attended an open house at the San Antonio Shambhala Meditation Center seeking information on their Kyudo group. I apparently came at just the right time, a group had only been established in San Antonio for three months at that time and if I had looked following my return from my trip to Japan in 2009 the closest group would have been in Austin, almost a 2 hour drive north that meets twice a week. The Kyudo group was waiting for their practice yumis (bows), yas (arrows), and kake (gloves) to come in from Japan, to Boulder to be inspected by Shibata Sensei, and then shipped to the Center. Each item is individually crafted by a master craftsmen of each item and thus it would be several months before they would arrive. Until then I decided to try sitting and walking meditation at the center and that is how it all began.
Since then I have grown to know the people of the center and while sometimes there are personality clashes everyone is kind, gentle, and open. I was drawn by the warmth of my meditation instructor and the people of the Sanga and decided to attend more things than just kyudo once kyudo practice begun in October.
In July I attended an open house at the San Antonio Shambhala Meditation Center seeking information on their Kyudo group. I apparently came at just the right time, a group had only been established in San Antonio for three months at that time and if I had looked following my return from my trip to Japan in 2009 the closest group would have been in Austin, almost a 2 hour drive north that meets twice a week. The Kyudo group was waiting for their practice yumis (bows), yas (arrows), and kake (gloves) to come in from Japan, to Boulder to be inspected by Shibata Sensei, and then shipped to the Center. Each item is individually crafted by a master craftsmen of each item and thus it would be several months before they would arrive. Until then I decided to try sitting and walking meditation at the center and that is how it all began.
Since then I have grown to know the people of the center and while sometimes there are personality clashes everyone is kind, gentle, and open. I was drawn by the warmth of my meditation instructor and the people of the Sanga and decided to attend more things than just kyudo once kyudo practice begun in October.
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