Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Japan Support going Strong if silent!
Sometimes I wonder if people in my area are really giving the tsunami disaster attention now that media is turning most of the attention on Libya. But at Mizuumi-Con Saturday I saw many jars and boxes with donations for Japan, and the local Japanese Association, JASSA, was doing a sale of Japanese items to raise money. My Japanese teacher told me they plan to do a similar sale at all the public colleges and University campuses, which is a total of ten if they're able to go to all of them! I also see signs and ways for people to donate. This brightens my spirit, so while its not being talked about people are not forgetting about Japan. As a college student I can't give much in funds but I'm bringing Japan attention in different ways. I took my dog Yoko to a Fiesta Fido and Fashion Show Sunday that was to raise money for the local Humane Society, she wore a doggie yukata I bought for her when I visit Japan in 09. We're going to attend another Fiesta dog event on the 9th, this time I'll be wearing my yukata too! Someone might argue it doesn't really go with Fiesta, but yukata are usually worn during summer festivals and here in Texas its already hot as summer on some days! Plus, Fiesta was original a festival but now is much more here in San Antonio.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Usagi Yukata
Earlier this month I wore my usagi yukata to the Shambhala Day Gala. Usagi is rabbit, yukata is a summer kimono. I plan to be wearing this yukata a lot because its the year of the Iron Rabbit. I didn't get photos that did it justice on Shambhala Day but I did yesterday. In Japan its not... proper to wear it until usually May but I'm in Texas and it was 90 degrees yesterday, so exceptions can be made with climate! I wore it yesterday because I was attending an anime convention at Our Lady of the Lake University. I'm part of the San Antonio College Japanese club and the club was selling various Japanese food to raise money.
In the picture I'm sitting next to my friend who is also the President of the Japanese club. I find very amusing that my best photo in this yukata was when I was feeling really icky from allergies and almost didn't attend the convention!
In the picture I'm sitting next to my friend who is also the President of the Japanese club. I find very amusing that my best photo in this yukata was when I was feeling really icky from allergies and almost didn't attend the convention!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Enjoy the Irony, World Water Day
Today at work my kids were treated to outside science program that is usually reserved for the older kids, my grade has never been given the opportunity simply because of their age. Today the topic was Global Warming and while they didn't completely understand the concept they were able to grasp it fairly well that it impressed the guest instructor. They were given little globe bouncing balls as rewards. I was given one too. On the fling of the moment just after they all went home I took a picture of it with my reusable water bottle from World Market. When I got home I discovered via twitter today was World Water Day. One irony was the fact the kids did and experiment to understand the melting ice caps and the fact that today was World Water Day was never mentioned once. The other of course was my picture, as you can see.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
An Effort in Patience and Gentleness (aka, don't scream and cuss)
I am finding myself trying to use what I learn in Shambhala more towards my family because of conflicts than with the rest of the world
My relations with my relatives is not on very solid standing is the best way to describe it. One of the reasons came to a head Tuesday in result from something that didn't happen Monday. Monday morning my cousin called me, her son was building a web page for one of his clients who does appliance repairs. The reason she called with this info is because I haven't been able to cook for over a year. I'm living in my grandmother's house, going to college and keeping an eye on the property since they family hasn't sold it and some needs to live here to watch it. Its over 60 years old, and from what I can tell the stove and oven unit is as old. Last year one of the burners wouldn't turn off, and since the unit is completely electric, I had to unplug. Long story short over the past year as a student I didn't have money to consider getting it fix, or if I did I didn't have time to have someone come look at it. I work everyday during the week and go to classes as well for my degree. My family has finally offered to help me pay for the repairs.
This week is spring break, I'm both off from school and work because I work for an independent school district, so my cousin called me and asked if I would be home from 1 to 5pm. I said yes, only that he call me so I have a heads up to get my dog in the back of the house. I stayed home all day and he neither called nor showed. I didn't call my cousin because the connection was through her son and waited for her to call me on the details. When did call Tuesday around noon I was in a meeting, taking care of things I only had time to do during spring break, and couldn't answer my phone. When I tried to call her back she wouldn't answer. She eventually called me back 6pm scolding me of the phone, saying I didn't answer the man's phone call and refused to believe me that he didn't call at all. She started to belittle me and call my words 'excuses'. I cut her off and told her I wouldn't be spoken to in that way and hung up, I wasn't going to argue a lost cause.
My family has constantly treated me as if all I do is lie, steal, and hinted they suspect me of doing drugs. Where they get these notions I have no clue. I have never been around 'crowd' to suggest it, I've never been in trouble with the law at all. Ever. I hardly have any social life, and by social I mean just meeting friends on campus between classes much less off of it. It is beyond bizarre and literally freaks the few number of friends who have met my family and seen how they treat me past the screen of social facade.
So this cousin is a retired teacher, I want to teach. She constantly compares my college struggle with hers, without taking the fact that its been over 50 years when she got her degree and I am trying to get mine. Things are a lot differences between now and then, and when I point them out she calls it an excuse and I'm not working hard enough. I don't have any immediate family to support me, everyone is dead. I don't qualify for most financial aid and scholarships. So whenever I have problems because I have obligations and responsibilities like work that conflict with my studies she calls them excuses. She says without saying the words directly that I am lying to her, I had time to do this so I obviously had time to do what she thinks I'm suppose to and was simply too lazy to do it. Everything that doesn't happen right is my fault and all I do it make excuses, according to her. Example; I either go training that happens when I have class, thereby missing class, or go to class and miss the training and thereby loose my job. She calls it an excuse that I miss class, even though if I had gone to class I would have lost my job.
So Tuesday was another lost cause trying to talk to her, because she refused to listen. I called the nun in our family, and since my family is primary catholic going to the nun for advice is the only way not to seeking help and be accused of causing trouble. After listening to me, how hurt I was, and sorry I had to hang up but felt there was no point because this has been going on for year, she told me to email my cousin the facts and how I feel with her treating me the way she does. I did, and I got a response that only upsets me more. She didn't apologize directly, only indirectly on her 'words', but also didn't apologize for not listening to my side of the story. My email had over 100 words in it. I get a reply of 15 words.
Its a battle for me not to respond with a heated reply for her very short and in many ways rude reply. The nun wants me to talk to her over the phone on the email, right now I'm trying to tamper down the hurt. Until I have a handle on these raging emotions I know it would not be a very wise idea to take another approach.
My relations with my relatives is not on very solid standing is the best way to describe it. One of the reasons came to a head Tuesday in result from something that didn't happen Monday. Monday morning my cousin called me, her son was building a web page for one of his clients who does appliance repairs. The reason she called with this info is because I haven't been able to cook for over a year. I'm living in my grandmother's house, going to college and keeping an eye on the property since they family hasn't sold it and some needs to live here to watch it. Its over 60 years old, and from what I can tell the stove and oven unit is as old. Last year one of the burners wouldn't turn off, and since the unit is completely electric, I had to unplug. Long story short over the past year as a student I didn't have money to consider getting it fix, or if I did I didn't have time to have someone come look at it. I work everyday during the week and go to classes as well for my degree. My family has finally offered to help me pay for the repairs.
This week is spring break, I'm both off from school and work because I work for an independent school district, so my cousin called me and asked if I would be home from 1 to 5pm. I said yes, only that he call me so I have a heads up to get my dog in the back of the house. I stayed home all day and he neither called nor showed. I didn't call my cousin because the connection was through her son and waited for her to call me on the details. When did call Tuesday around noon I was in a meeting, taking care of things I only had time to do during spring break, and couldn't answer my phone. When I tried to call her back she wouldn't answer. She eventually called me back 6pm scolding me of the phone, saying I didn't answer the man's phone call and refused to believe me that he didn't call at all. She started to belittle me and call my words 'excuses'. I cut her off and told her I wouldn't be spoken to in that way and hung up, I wasn't going to argue a lost cause.
My family has constantly treated me as if all I do is lie, steal, and hinted they suspect me of doing drugs. Where they get these notions I have no clue. I have never been around 'crowd' to suggest it, I've never been in trouble with the law at all. Ever. I hardly have any social life, and by social I mean just meeting friends on campus between classes much less off of it. It is beyond bizarre and literally freaks the few number of friends who have met my family and seen how they treat me past the screen of social facade.
So this cousin is a retired teacher, I want to teach. She constantly compares my college struggle with hers, without taking the fact that its been over 50 years when she got her degree and I am trying to get mine. Things are a lot differences between now and then, and when I point them out she calls it an excuse and I'm not working hard enough. I don't have any immediate family to support me, everyone is dead. I don't qualify for most financial aid and scholarships. So whenever I have problems because I have obligations and responsibilities like work that conflict with my studies she calls them excuses. She says without saying the words directly that I am lying to her, I had time to do this so I obviously had time to do what she thinks I'm suppose to and was simply too lazy to do it. Everything that doesn't happen right is my fault and all I do it make excuses, according to her. Example; I either go training that happens when I have class, thereby missing class, or go to class and miss the training and thereby loose my job. She calls it an excuse that I miss class, even though if I had gone to class I would have lost my job.
So Tuesday was another lost cause trying to talk to her, because she refused to listen. I called the nun in our family, and since my family is primary catholic going to the nun for advice is the only way not to seeking help and be accused of causing trouble. After listening to me, how hurt I was, and sorry I had to hang up but felt there was no point because this has been going on for year, she told me to email my cousin the facts and how I feel with her treating me the way she does. I did, and I got a response that only upsets me more. She didn't apologize directly, only indirectly on her 'words', but also didn't apologize for not listening to my side of the story. My email had over 100 words in it. I get a reply of 15 words.
Its a battle for me not to respond with a heated reply for her very short and in many ways rude reply. The nun wants me to talk to her over the phone on the email, right now I'm trying to tamper down the hurt. Until I have a handle on these raging emotions I know it would not be a very wise idea to take another approach.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Kyudo
This is a video of the first time I saw Kyudo at the Meji Shrine in Tokyo, Japan in June 2009. It is an example of an advanced form which I won't be able to learn for many, many years.
Shambhala Day
I am a bit late in updating my journal again, I had midterms and lots of issues popped up at work where I basically collapsed when I got home before rising for school the next morning.
March 5th this year was Shambala Day. Shambhala day is held on the Tibetan New Year. This year is the year of the Iron Rabbit. Tibetan year astrology adds in elemental elements on top of what most people know of the Chinese New Year.
I arrived a little bit late and missed the opening of the day. But I arrived in time to take part of a cleansing practice where we used water and later gave offerings at the Shrine. We also did a lot of short meditation contemplations. I can't really remember what they were, I was a little jittery coming in late and jumping right in when I had no idea what was going on. I also ended up with a lady that was.... very serious about the whole thing. Not to the point of rudeness but adding onto my nervousness. But after the practice we all stood and one by one took grapes as part of the offering and passed Juniper smoke over up from a bowl on the alter. After this we had a brake for a small bit of time while the Shrine Room was rearranged. We had to bring a chair up front and arrange cosions for the teachers and members of the council. A few were stepping down their positions and others were being sworn in or renewing their vows. I helped out and snapped some photos.
A chair for the director, a table with bowel with charcoal and Juniper grass used for purification. When someone give something, even just a paper with a vow or a gift it is passed through the juniper smoke. Also calendars, Lasung gifts, and membership pins were brought in for the ceremony.
So for most of the ceremony I was an observe, as usual, but then when it came for new memberships I went to receive my vows. It was more of statement that I feel part of the sanga and officially joining membership. Because I didn't know of the order of which things were happening, nor did I know I was receive official status that day I wasn't able to give my camera to anyone to get my photo when I receive my membership pin from the director. After this everyone was given a calendar to use to track when they practiced what meditations and a lasung gift, which is used to purify your house after a spring cleaning, and we walked under a prayer flag.
The prayer flag belong to Doria, she and her husband were the Directors of the Shambhala Mountain Center in Colorado when the Sakyong married a few years ago. The brides family ordered three thousand of these prayer flags from Nepal to line the streets of the procession for the wedding. After the wedding Doria and her husband were given with one of the flags as a gift.
After this we set up for the international Shambhala Day broadcast set up through webcams. I will say there were hiccups, but it was fun none the less. This Shambhala Day was special because it was the first time the community had seen the Sakyong in about a year, he had gone on a year retreat and only briefly broken it when his daughter was born.
This post does not do justice to the events on Shambhala Day and I wish I had forced myself to write about it the day afterward. But there are a few things coming up I will strive to do better on. I'm going to Doria's house sometime this week to learn Ikebana for a flower arrangement contest next month and we have a Kyudo ceremony that was suppose to be part of Shambhala Day that has yet to be rescheduled I am looking forward to.
March 5th this year was Shambala Day. Shambhala day is held on the Tibetan New Year. This year is the year of the Iron Rabbit. Tibetan year astrology adds in elemental elements on top of what most people know of the Chinese New Year.
So for most of the ceremony I was an observe, as usual, but then when it came for new memberships I went to receive my vows. It was more of statement that I feel part of the sanga and officially joining membership. Because I didn't know of the order of which things were happening, nor did I know I was receive official status that day I wasn't able to give my camera to anyone to get my photo when I receive my membership pin from the director. After this everyone was given a calendar to use to track when they practiced what meditations and a lasung gift, which is used to purify your house after a spring cleaning, and we walked under a prayer flag.
After this we set up for the international Shambhala Day broadcast set up through webcams. I will say there were hiccups, but it was fun none the less. This Shambhala Day was special because it was the first time the community had seen the Sakyong in about a year, he had gone on a year retreat and only briefly broken it when his daughter was born.
This post does not do justice to the events on Shambhala Day and I wish I had forced myself to write about it the day afterward. But there are a few things coming up I will strive to do better on. I'm going to Doria's house sometime this week to learn Ikebana for a flower arrangement contest next month and we have a Kyudo ceremony that was suppose to be part of Shambhala Day that has yet to be rescheduled I am looking forward to.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Irony is not beyond me.
Here I am, alone without a boyfriend or anyone for that matter and my dog seems to have an admirer two houses down.
Yes, I just said that. My dog might have a beau in the form of a rambunctious yellow lab two houses down from where we live. We met him two days ago when I took Yoko for a short walk before heading into study for an exam the next day. The beau is named Sooner, and when he say Yoko he charge right at her in a submissive PLAY WITH ME NOW body language. He was off leash, Yoko is on leash, needless to say that would have been problems as it was, but did I mentioned he charged? The dork didn't approach right at all, going straight up to her face, and it startled Yoko. I almost had a fight on my hands in front of kids no less. But once I got the bumbling fool to sniff Yoko's butt and slow down to follow normal dog protocol all was fine. When we came heading back from our walk he charged again, but Yoko was fine with it. Good grief, she wanted to run off and play with him.
Now why do I think this dog might like Yoko? Because we were not the only ones out walking, and Yoko was not the only dog. But she was the only one Sooner ran up to. I have been worrying about Yoko not having anyone to play with and being alone for so long each day as I am at school and then work. Well, if I'm able to get relations going a bit I might have found a friend for her, yes?
In Shambhala its believe things will work out, opportunities will present themselves. I think one just did. Hopefully I'll be posting on this again in a few weeks or months, with pictures!
Yes, I just said that. My dog might have a beau in the form of a rambunctious yellow lab two houses down from where we live. We met him two days ago when I took Yoko for a short walk before heading into study for an exam the next day. The beau is named Sooner, and when he say Yoko he charge right at her in a submissive PLAY WITH ME NOW body language. He was off leash, Yoko is on leash, needless to say that would have been problems as it was, but did I mentioned he charged? The dork didn't approach right at all, going straight up to her face, and it startled Yoko. I almost had a fight on my hands in front of kids no less. But once I got the bumbling fool to sniff Yoko's butt and slow down to follow normal dog protocol all was fine. When we came heading back from our walk he charged again, but Yoko was fine with it. Good grief, she wanted to run off and play with him.
Now why do I think this dog might like Yoko? Because we were not the only ones out walking, and Yoko was not the only dog. But she was the only one Sooner ran up to. I have been worrying about Yoko not having anyone to play with and being alone for so long each day as I am at school and then work. Well, if I'm able to get relations going a bit I might have found a friend for her, yes?
In Shambhala its believe things will work out, opportunities will present themselves. I think one just did. Hopefully I'll be posting on this again in a few weeks or months, with pictures!
So many things!!
I have been so busy with school, I can't believe a month has gone by from when I had last posted. Things at the center have also been busy too. On February 4-6th Acharya Moh Hardin taught "The Way of Shambhala: Wisdom for Everyday life".
This training is... like level six I believe. Normally you aren't allowed to take it until you've taken the levels under it because it covers things that are covered in the previous five levels. But since its the Acharya under the Sakyong, and things seems to be done differently at the center here, it was... allowed? It was a confusing and yet fun weekend, even if I was missing the annual Asian New Year Festival held only a mile away. It just happened to be scheduled by accident that way. The Chinese New Year is the basis of the festival but all Asian/Pacific cultures that can be present also participate. Frankly it needs to be expanded or moved soon, its become so popular and so many thousands of people go annually.
Anyways, the "Wisdom of Everyday life" was exploring the meaning of ego, egolessness, the four dignities, and a new meditation practice. I will admit I have been bad and have not once practiced it since the weekend, I've been hitting the ground running so much with school, work, and life being exceeding hectic this past month. The four dignities are the "meek" tiger, "perky" lion, "outrageous" garuda, and the "inscrutable" dragon. Meek? Why would anyone want to be meek? Well, lets just say the normal definitions do not apply to these words and wrapping your brain around the basis understanding from the Eastern thought was heavy part of the talks and discussions. We spent many hours on each one needless to say.
So that was the weekend, but things didn't slow after that. Monday there were 'interviews' schedule and I grab the second to last slot left at 8pm. I had questions, that were personal to me that I wanted uninterrupted time. Because if I asked it during the weekend it would have been during an open discussion. My questions were my how I feel lost and yet found; I feel a deep connection to the core teaching of Shambhala and especially the practice of Kyudo, as if I am a lost child that was in a room of gray trying to find the white light. I can only so 'so far' here in my city with Kyudo, I have very little chance to practice it as it is. There were also questions I had in trying to figure out answers to the Sakyong's letter, which they helped me clarify but I will admit I have been so consumed with work and school that I didn't get to replying. Whoops.
The Tuesday after the weekend was the Refuge Vow Ceremony. I was excited and nervous, I had heard only vague information about it ans was eager to watch and learn more. My nervousness went up ten fold when I walked through the door, everyone was dressed up and I was in my jeans straight from work. Ack!!! No one said anything, they were fine with how I was, but it was hard to be comfortable just out of reflex for a good while. There were... seven people I believe who were taking their refuge vows. The vows are a formal way declaring yourself to be following the teaching of the Buddha, not as a supreme being, but as the 'idol'. I really do enjoy listening to Acharya Hardin and Sangyum Grieve, they were very humorous, dignified, great to listen to. Part of the ceremony is being given a Buddhist name, based off an 'interview' with the Acharya and the Sangyum and what they felt best represented you. You do not get to choose it, you don't even known what it is until it is given to you. This does not replace your original name, though some it is said do eventually change it legally.
So the ceremony it self it very simple, and Acharya Hardin very good explaining each part of it so everyone who were clueless (like me, lol) could really understand what the vow and each moment really meant in meaning. I am not going to go into detail because I don't want to create confusion or misconceptions. There was also rice throwing as part of it, and I had to fight to not giggle like a silly girl because it was like a wedding. In a way it was, the Acharya said when I spoke to him later. I suppose so...
So since then I haven't really participated in the Sanga, as I have mentioned because of classes and work, other than making my way down there to sit a few times.There have been levels offered in the past month but I won't be able to attend a weekend level for some time. One of my co-workers lost her brother and we were short for a bit because of that. Another became severely ill, same week mind you. So I have had to go in early for work to help my boss get things situated to handle 110 children spread through a shorter staff. For all the stress, especially with work being short staff and handling twenty or more kids everyday and falling behind but keeping my grades up in classes I am reasonably calm. I have had several trainings thrown at me last minute by my boss, which have forced me to miss classes, but I am handling the stress well. I know a year ago I wouldn't be as I am now. And I have a pretty good idea why.
This training is... like level six I believe. Normally you aren't allowed to take it until you've taken the levels under it because it covers things that are covered in the previous five levels. But since its the Acharya under the Sakyong, and things seems to be done differently at the center here, it was... allowed? It was a confusing and yet fun weekend, even if I was missing the annual Asian New Year Festival held only a mile away. It just happened to be scheduled by accident that way. The Chinese New Year is the basis of the festival but all Asian/Pacific cultures that can be present also participate. Frankly it needs to be expanded or moved soon, its become so popular and so many thousands of people go annually.
Anyways, the "Wisdom of Everyday life" was exploring the meaning of ego, egolessness, the four dignities, and a new meditation practice. I will admit I have been bad and have not once practiced it since the weekend, I've been hitting the ground running so much with school, work, and life being exceeding hectic this past month. The four dignities are the "meek" tiger, "perky" lion, "outrageous" garuda, and the "inscrutable" dragon. Meek? Why would anyone want to be meek? Well, lets just say the normal definitions do not apply to these words and wrapping your brain around the basis understanding from the Eastern thought was heavy part of the talks and discussions. We spent many hours on each one needless to say.
So that was the weekend, but things didn't slow after that. Monday there were 'interviews' schedule and I grab the second to last slot left at 8pm. I had questions, that were personal to me that I wanted uninterrupted time. Because if I asked it during the weekend it would have been during an open discussion. My questions were my how I feel lost and yet found; I feel a deep connection to the core teaching of Shambhala and especially the practice of Kyudo, as if I am a lost child that was in a room of gray trying to find the white light. I can only so 'so far' here in my city with Kyudo, I have very little chance to practice it as it is. There were also questions I had in trying to figure out answers to the Sakyong's letter, which they helped me clarify but I will admit I have been so consumed with work and school that I didn't get to replying. Whoops.
The Tuesday after the weekend was the Refuge Vow Ceremony. I was excited and nervous, I had heard only vague information about it ans was eager to watch and learn more. My nervousness went up ten fold when I walked through the door, everyone was dressed up and I was in my jeans straight from work. Ack!!! No one said anything, they were fine with how I was, but it was hard to be comfortable just out of reflex for a good while. There were... seven people I believe who were taking their refuge vows. The vows are a formal way declaring yourself to be following the teaching of the Buddha, not as a supreme being, but as the 'idol'. I really do enjoy listening to Acharya Hardin and Sangyum Grieve, they were very humorous, dignified, great to listen to. Part of the ceremony is being given a Buddhist name, based off an 'interview' with the Acharya and the Sangyum and what they felt best represented you. You do not get to choose it, you don't even known what it is until it is given to you. This does not replace your original name, though some it is said do eventually change it legally.
So the ceremony it self it very simple, and Acharya Hardin very good explaining each part of it so everyone who were clueless (like me, lol) could really understand what the vow and each moment really meant in meaning. I am not going to go into detail because I don't want to create confusion or misconceptions. There was also rice throwing as part of it, and I had to fight to not giggle like a silly girl because it was like a wedding. In a way it was, the Acharya said when I spoke to him later. I suppose so...
So since then I haven't really participated in the Sanga, as I have mentioned because of classes and work, other than making my way down there to sit a few times.There have been levels offered in the past month but I won't be able to attend a weekend level for some time. One of my co-workers lost her brother and we were short for a bit because of that. Another became severely ill, same week mind you. So I have had to go in early for work to help my boss get things situated to handle 110 children spread through a shorter staff. For all the stress, especially with work being short staff and handling twenty or more kids everyday and falling behind but keeping my grades up in classes I am reasonably calm. I have had several trainings thrown at me last minute by my boss, which have forced me to miss classes, but I am handling the stress well. I know a year ago I wouldn't be as I am now. And I have a pretty good idea why.
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